In a few minutes, the world will be celebrating the much anticipated and overrated day of love and I’ve compiled some tunes for you kids out there who are in love, yearning, or simply looking for someone who’ll scratch that itch. If you know what I mean.
Come On Get Higher
Artist: Matt Nathanson
Who: Your current flame. Ah, the joy of new love!
You’re both high with endorphins as you enjoy every minute of your blissful relationship. Every moment is magical and his touch weakens every part of your body. Nothing could ever seem to go wrong at this point.
Winning line: “I miss the pull of your heart. I can taste the sparks on your tongue. I see angels and devils. And God when you come on.”
One on One
Original: Hall and Oates
Cover by: The Bird and Bee
Who: Your good friend whom you started to develop feelings with but too scared to admit to him and even to yourself.
Play this when the two of you are stuck in traffic while he’s driving. He certainly wouldn’t mind you tinkering with the stereo given your chummy status. Sit still as you both listen to every lyric of the song and let Inara George’s soothing voice do the talking. Finally, give him that lingering gaze and boom!
Winning line: “One on one I wanna play that game tonight. One on one so slow.”
Nothing But A Miracle
Artist: Diane Birch
Who: Your ex whom you’ve been trying to get over for two years already
Moving on is and will never be easy. Just when you think you’re already at the stage of Acceptance (5 stages of grief), you’d suddenly find a piece of paper or memento that would send you instantly back to Depression and even Anger. All of your so-called progress will be put into waste thanks to that motherfucker who broke your heart into a million pieces.
Paris (Oh La La)
Artist: Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Who: Your husband or long time lover who is looking for something new
Nothing says, “I love you” more than giving your man a sexy strip tease. Step out of your Jackie O act and put on your Marilyn shoes paired with a white man shirt and the classic red lips. ’nuff said.
Winning line: “If I was a blade, I’d shave you smooth. If I was a judge, I’d break the law. And if I was from Paris, I would say Oh la la la la..” But seriously, with the song’s melody and beat, I don’t think the lyrics even matter.
Who: Your secret f*ck whom you have intense sexual chemistry with
The thing between the two of you is nothing sort of romantic. Oh screw it. It’s really just lust. And the funny thing is you can separate lust from love like they’re two different worlds. He’s there to purely satisfy your hedonistic needs.
Winning line: “I think I might’ve inhaled you. I could feel you behind my eyes. You’ve gotten into my bloodstream. I could feel you floating in me.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, boys and girls. Remember, spread the love and not the virus!